Perspectives
The Emotionally Intelligent
Presenter:
How to Connect with Your Audience in a
Personal, Proven and Purposeful Way
Part 3 of 3
by George M. Hendley
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Those
you wish to influence begin with two major questions: Who are you? and Why are
you here? Until these questions are answered they don’t trust what you say. -
Annette
Simmons
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Connecting with our audience is the goal. How we do it is a matter of style, timing, personality, context, audience expectations and a host of other very important issues. If we want to do it well and do it in a personal, proven and purposeful way we must answer the two underlying and often unspoken questions: Who am I and Why am I here?
Without those questions being answered you have little if any real trust established. Without trust you have no true chance of connecting in a deep and emotionally resonant way. They may ‘hear’ you, but they won’t really ‘believe’ you. Those two questions allow your audience to begin the ‘knowing and liking’ phase of connecting which leads to real trust.
But, let’s just for a moment suspend our forward motion and do a very brief review of our first two installments in this series. We led with the first article focusing on the many and unique benefits we trainers and consultants enjoy, applying the principles of EI (emotional intelligence) in our presentations. This entails being self aware as the presenter and becoming ‘others aware’ so we are sensitive to their needs. In doing this we create resonance, not dissonance in our presentations. This resonance is a harmonious personal connection, even down to a cellular level.
Part two we focused on the need for form and structure. The formula is to have a simple, recognizable message that catches the attention of their minds and the interest of their emotions. The eye catching and ear friendly appeal of a well structured message that is delivered by a presenter in a congruent visual, vocal and verbal package is extremely powerful. But, it is the weaving of a well devised and properly delivered story that makes the presentation memorable and emotionally magnetic.
Comparing Apples to Apples
Over the past 14 years I’ve watched and listened to over 150 professional presenters as I am deeply immersed and personally involved in the speaking and training industries. I’ve seen what the world would call some of the best professionals in the business and those who are financially recompensed hundreds of thousands of dollars on a yearly basis. Men and women of different race and nationality, educationally and socially diverse and from their 20’s to their 70’s. This is a unique and varied group that has informed and influenced countless millions.
In just the past two weeks I’ve had the privilege and pleasure of watching five different ‘key note’ presentations in three different venues. Here is ‘my story’ as an audience member comparing two of the five recent speakers I’ve heard using the EI criteria that I’ve shared with you in these articles.
Carl Connects- Jim Just Misses
Both of these speakers are seasoned veterans with numerous years and thousands of presentations between them. We’ll call them ‘Carl and Jim’ to cover their true identities and to disguise the various venues where I saw and heard them present. Both are very well paid ($8,000 or more per presentation) when they are speaking to the types of larger audiences they normally address. Both have a tight niche of focus and are published authors with a sizeable reading audience.
Beginning with the visual picture that each gave to the audience when they took the stage it was an even match. They each understood what looked good on them in color, style and fit of clothing and in the context of the audience they were addressing. They each showed great poise, ease of movement, a posture of confidence and had the flowing ‘casually appropriate’ manner that a polished presenter wears. Neither used PowerPoint, as they both live and breathe their message and they know they are ‘the visual’. Although Carl is smaller in stature and frame his internal confidence and ease were visually apparent and he acted like he was having an intimate conversation with a friend rather than speaking to over 1,000 strangers he had never met.
Moving to the vocal and verbal aspects of their messages they each did well. Very few misspoken words, filler words or inappropriate phrases or language slips between them. Polished, and well delivered as you would expect at this level of professional expertise. But once again, one small, yet noticeable difference between Carl and Jim surfaced. Their was a distinguishable passion in the voice and the words chosen by Carl that lifted him to a higher level and brought about a congruence with him and his message that Jim just didn’t have. I felt an empathetic resonance with Carl’s message that just never crystallized with Jim. And I was not the Lone Ranger in that feeling. Others sensed and verbalized the same thing that I felt.
Stories- Connecting both Intelligence and Emotion
Jim and Carl were talented and well versed with their stories both personal and those of others they knew. Both had their respective audiences laughing and identifying with them within minutes as they wove their stories into the fabric of their visual and verbal tapestries. Yet, once again Carl had a deeper and quicker emotional reaction with many wiping the ‘dew drops’ from their eyes in the first 15 minutes of his presentation. And honestly, it wasn’t to control or purposefully manipulate the emotions of the audience. It was all about the passion, sensitivity and emotional connection he formed with us that made it happen easily.
Although both had numerous and glowing credentials, recognitions and awards as part of their introductions we KNEW who Carl was and why he was there when he finished. We knew him, in an almost tangible, palpable way that only comes when you feel you can and do trust someone. That wasn’t the case with Jim. There just wasn’t the deeper personal connection and there wasn’t a clear recognition of his purpose branded on our minds when he finished. I’ll remember Carl and his presentation for many years, it was that memorable. Jim’s will fade within weeks and be all but forgotten in a year.
The emotionally intelligent presenter connects with his/her audience in personal, proven and purposeful way. There is both form and structure with a beautiful balance of story and emotion. There is something for both male and female, young and old, left brain and right brain and most of the other comparisons you can make. Trust is established and a bond, a deep connection is felt that makes those presenters memorable for many years. EI presenters connect.
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Only connect. -
E.M. Forster-Howards End
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